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Discussion Starter #1
Donkey In The Well

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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

NOW --------

Enough of that crap . . .

The donkey later came back and bit the sh*t out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
 

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<B style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal">DO NOT LOOK AT THE PICTURE BELOW UNTIL YOU READ THE FOLLOWING: <?: prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" />[/B]




A few days ago I was having some work done at my local Chevrolet Garage. A blonde lady came in and asked the service manager for a Seven-hundred-ten.

The service manager looked at me, I shrugged. He said to her "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one."

Bemused the service manager asked if she knew what it did. She replied that she did not know, but this piece had always been there.

He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

Not helped by the artist impression, he then took her over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, "is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."


































(And in case you didn't get it ""“ turn the computer screen upside down""¦.doh!!!)
 

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Wow, what a joke you have post here. Its to good and amazing . I like this very much. When i read this joke I continuously laughing. Please share other jokes so that we all enjoy this forum.
 

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ChevyBro said:
710? I don't get it.

You dont get it....



Can I suggest next service you ask for



710 77345



As it is better for the car than others, like 710 0553.



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Discussion Starter #13
chevy bro still wont get it!!!!
you need to turn his world upside down, then maybe... just maybe!!!!
 

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I had to rush out and buy sleeping tablets for the wife today - the bitch nearly woke up!



(I'm not a chauvenist either, i just like jokes!
)
 

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ps to the above, I didn't mean it and I love my wife.........plus I would never let her get that close to waking up.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
IrishMaths Test

AnIrishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire
him until he passes a little math test.

Here is your first question, the
foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without
numbers?" The
Irishman
says? "Dat is easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.








"What's this?" the boss asks.


"Have you
ain't got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says
the
Irishman.

"Fair
enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but
this time the number is 99."

The
Irishman
stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn
and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere you go."










The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do
you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's
dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99."

The boss is
getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire
this
Irishman,
so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the
number 100."


The
Irishman
stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a
little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One
hundred."
















The
boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a
hundred!"

The
Irishman
leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, "A
little dog come along and poop by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a
turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE
HUNDRED!"







apologies to any irish people!! sorry!




Edited by: intimidator
 
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